I've been sitting and thinking more and more...you see i have this great balcony over looking the lake...it really is fantastic...and my favorite time to go out there is in the middle of the night...when the whole town seems to be asleep...and i just get things straight...but it really is odd...being alone like that...that silence...and its amazing to me how many people just cant seem to stand that kind of silence...i mean it just eats at them...it seems almost to me if being completly alone with themselves is nerve racking...it literally drives them nuts...and as strange as it is...ive noticed this in a particular group...mostly those under 20 who seem like they should be 15...there is something to be said about complete silence...it forces you to think...if forces you to stop staring at the TV mindlessly and actually...well...think...i was speaking with a girl who was a friend of my roomates earlier...and her she was saying how she loved the silence...just that deafining (please exscuse the cliche) silence...and i would say i have to agree...and her friend/boyish friend shortly thereafter was saying how he cant even sleep without some kind of noise...it was just odd the whole situation that is...and as much as I seem to be in favor of relationships working out for the better...i cant but feel that this one is doomed regardless...and the more and more i look at the whole mess of it all the more and more i realize that it is more than likely the direct result of an individual not knowing themselves that results in a failure of a relationship not necessarily the relationship its self not working...regardless...this was my observation...and it comes from some experience as well...but it seems...you have to learn your self ...certainly before you can learn others...and i worry about this...because christina...this girl i happen to be in a whatevership with is really great...and well to put it simply...i hope i know myself now...but i suppose i shouldnt doubt it....i mean really...because i doubt i would feel as comfortable around her as I do if i wasnt confident of myself and my own ambitions...but im probably just over analyzing again...i have a tendecy to do that...